Arrangement

As defined by thefreedictionary.com an arrangement is: A provision or plan made in preparation for an undertaking.

The root word "arrange" is the key to the whole "mystery" of sugar dating.  So, we arrange our relationship... not much different than any other relationship, except that North Americans have funny ideas about sexual needs. And relating in general.

One thing is for sure in an arrangement, you are unavailable to her. There is no promise of marriage, kids and the white picket fence, as is the typical ruse in dating. Not even the midnight booty call option. So, what value are you offering instead? Her allowance and the perks. It becomes a fair trade at this point.  Because despite being permanently unavailable to meet her needs (cuz you're married, or cuz you work too much to maintain a girlfriend, etc. etc.), you want her to be there for you. And ultimately, it's awesome to understand your needs and wants!

You need to ask yourself, why would a sweet young thing agree to a complicated relationship that is mostly about your needs and will never, ever go anywhere but dirty sheets (if it ever gets that far)? Altruism? Nope, that's a fantasy about human nature. "Love"? Nope, that's part of the white picket fence role play. And love takes time to grow so it wouldn't be instant anyway. If you believe that your sexual interest in her alone is enough to get her pants off, you need to get in queue with the others who don't realize she gets enough attention that she can be selective about who she engages.

Consider, for just a moment, that it could be that she (like most other humans being) needs and wants to be taken care of and give care in return. That she wants and needs companionship and sexual intimacy with a compatible partner. And that part of that compatibility relates to his ability, and willingness, to provide for her needs so she can take care of him in exchange. Without the ring, the playpen and the fence.  Because she's aware that wants to feel good, too!

It's mutual self-interest. Because we ALL want to feel good. Selfish is when you ONLY care about your happiness. Self-interest happens when you care about your happiness, TOO. Like the self-interest of maintaining your marriage. Whether it's emotional and/or financial, your assessment is that it'd be better to keep the wife AND find some happiness you're not getting at home. The sugar babe perceives that she'll trade some sweet wife duties for some sweet husband duties. Plain and simple.

So ladies...yes, generally "arrangement" infers that over time you will develop sexual intimacy as well as a friendship of sorts. It might simply mean dancing naked or naughty pics or sexting. It's an arrangement, you get to arrange it. In a way that works for both of you. But he is in it for companionship and ultimately, sexual stimulation. If there is nothing you can give on that end, courtsie as you thank him graciously and admit your defeat.

Gentlemen, the same is true of your end. If you haven't the financial means or ultimately, the  intention to buy the cow, thow shan't expect free milk. If you want her to believe you, you need to be aware of the fact that she is aware of the fact, that in creating this arrangement you're acting against the commitment you declared at your wedding. She gets it, no worries there. But she is aware to watch for any incongruencies that might indicate your unwillingness to follow through on the sugar arrangement. Inconsistencies might include acting sexually inappropriate or impolite or you choose not to "make good on your promises", like allowance and/or gifts and/or travel.

It's either an arranged mutual usership, or it's a standard one-sided relationship, not an arrangement.