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Showing posts with label manners. Show all posts
Showing posts with label manners. Show all posts
Saturday, 19 November 2011
Tuesday, 25 October 2011
Grey Areas That Are Black and White
In our continuous efforts to clearly define what it is we are here in Sugar Land after, let's throw down into the glossary of terms again.
On a technicality, relationsugars do qualify as sex trade industry. But on that same technicality, so is marriage. In fact, marriage is the biggest prostitution scam going. Ladies, you know what I am talking about on this one. Good Sirs, you also know what I am talkin' about on this one.
Ad nauseum, at this point, but allow me to present the difference between a standard hooker and a sugar babe.
With the lady of the night, she tells you, "greek, g.f.e., msog", you present her fee, she presents her sweet lady bits. As long as you wear a condom and don't try to rape her, you WILL "get some". It's a for sure thing, money for sex.
On the other hand, a sugar babe agrees to sell you her time. Time is not sex. It might become time spent sexually but ultimately it's a part time hot girlfriend role-play until it's determined that you are a qualified sugar daddy whom she can trust and count on. You're simply getting the chance to spend time with her. Yes, to see if you're going to knock boots, but the only sure thing is that you will spend time together for money. And if she can't count on you for the coin, there shan't be any booty shared.
And again... "pay per visit" is prostitute lexicon, not something a sugar babe can "count on".
On a technicality, relationsugars do qualify as sex trade industry. But on that same technicality, so is marriage. In fact, marriage is the biggest prostitution scam going. Ladies, you know what I am talking about on this one. Good Sirs, you also know what I am talkin' about on this one.
Ad nauseum, at this point, but allow me to present the difference between a standard hooker and a sugar babe.
With the lady of the night, she tells you, "greek, g.f.e., msog", you present her fee, she presents her sweet lady bits. As long as you wear a condom and don't try to rape her, you WILL "get some". It's a for sure thing, money for sex.
On the other hand, a sugar babe agrees to sell you her time. Time is not sex. It might become time spent sexually but ultimately it's a part time hot girlfriend role-play until it's determined that you are a qualified sugar daddy whom she can trust and count on. You're simply getting the chance to spend time with her. Yes, to see if you're going to knock boots, but the only sure thing is that you will spend time together for money. And if she can't count on you for the coin, there shan't be any booty shared.
And again... "pay per visit" is prostitute lexicon, not something a sugar babe can "count on".
Vulnerability
"SOS, please someone help me"... let us address the obvious today!
Whether it's obvious or not (apparently more often ;), let us bring to the forefront what a relationsugar really is. Guys are looking for companionship and sex, the ladies are looking to be taken care of financially in exchange for that affection. It is negligent and ignorant to assume otherwise.
Soooo, let me spell it out a little further. Women are vulnerable by design. And when a woman is looking for a sugar daddy it is because she is experiencing some financial vulnerability, too. And acknowledging that openly. She'll still be vulnerable if she doesn't have to stress about rent. She just won't be stressed anymore. And you get to enjoy that stress free version of this lovely little thing.
Whether she is a single mom, a student, a business owner or someone with a chronic illness (lots of them don't show on the surface so you can't make assumptions based on the cover of the book) she is openly admitting that she needs some help to get by. Therefore she has acknowledged her vulnerability and there is no need to make her prove it. I understand that you're just trying to gauge whether or not she would be open, receptive and vulnerable sexually but that will ONLY come about if you can meet her needs financially (assuming chemistry of course). Stress relief exchange. Exchange!!
Granted there are some women in this for the wrong reasons, IMHO, but who am I to say that a life of Louis Vitton and W Hotels is a bad thing in exchange for being pretty. But in reality, most of the women I have talked to regarding sugar life are genuinely kind, hard working women who're kinda fucked financially and just trying to get by in this crazy world we livin' in. Just like the men, only our needs are a little different.
But yes, she is "using" you for your money, just as you are "using" her because she has tittays. Sure, it's not all that glib, if you're not interested in each other fundamentally it will never get to the usership we've come here to engage in. But illusions that a relationsugar is anything more than a very clearly defined exchange are simply a waste of everyone's time.
Soooo, just like you're not entertaining women who are looking for a husband/baby daddy, don't be insulted when she doesn't want to entertain a man who can't meet her needs financially. Time is money, and wasting time chatting with a woman who wants to get married and babied up is not a good investment of your time if you're just looking for a booty call. So, why would a woman want to continue to "chat" if you're not in her budget range???? It's not personal, it's based on an honest awareness of one's needs. Which includes not having an abundance of time to waste ;)
And while it can be disturbing to address the reality that women are far more vulnerable to sexual exploit, it is crucial to be aware that there are Jeffrey Dahmers and Robert Picktons in this world. Ladies, YOU need to keep yourself safe. Not paranoid, simply aware. That you are a delicate little flower and need be handled with care at all times. Gentlemen, YOU need to be aware that she needs to feels safe, cuz she's a delicate little flower that needs to be handled with care at all times who wants to blossom.
It's just real, not anything to get overwhelmed about. Misogyny is rampant in our society. Relationsugaring addresses that imbalance by adding the levener* that actually enables a "mutually beneficial arrangement". We're here because we are doing things differently. Or maybe you're lost on the Internet ;P
*levener is a cooking term (but this is chemistry, too so it's apt ;) : substances used in doughs and batters that cause a foaming action which lightens and softens the finished product
Whether it's obvious or not (apparently more often ;), let us bring to the forefront what a relationsugar really is. Guys are looking for companionship and sex, the ladies are looking to be taken care of financially in exchange for that affection. It is negligent and ignorant to assume otherwise.
Soooo, let me spell it out a little further. Women are vulnerable by design. And when a woman is looking for a sugar daddy it is because she is experiencing some financial vulnerability, too. And acknowledging that openly. She'll still be vulnerable if she doesn't have to stress about rent. She just won't be stressed anymore. And you get to enjoy that stress free version of this lovely little thing.
Whether she is a single mom, a student, a business owner or someone with a chronic illness (lots of them don't show on the surface so you can't make assumptions based on the cover of the book) she is openly admitting that she needs some help to get by. Therefore she has acknowledged her vulnerability and there is no need to make her prove it. I understand that you're just trying to gauge whether or not she would be open, receptive and vulnerable sexually but that will ONLY come about if you can meet her needs financially (assuming chemistry of course). Stress relief exchange. Exchange!!
Granted there are some women in this for the wrong reasons, IMHO, but who am I to say that a life of Louis Vitton and W Hotels is a bad thing in exchange for being pretty. But in reality, most of the women I have talked to regarding sugar life are genuinely kind, hard working women who're kinda fucked financially and just trying to get by in this crazy world we livin' in. Just like the men, only our needs are a little different.
But yes, she is "using" you for your money, just as you are "using" her because she has tittays. Sure, it's not all that glib, if you're not interested in each other fundamentally it will never get to the usership we've come here to engage in. But illusions that a relationsugar is anything more than a very clearly defined exchange are simply a waste of everyone's time.
Soooo, just like you're not entertaining women who are looking for a husband/baby daddy, don't be insulted when she doesn't want to entertain a man who can't meet her needs financially. Time is money, and wasting time chatting with a woman who wants to get married and babied up is not a good investment of your time if you're just looking for a booty call. So, why would a woman want to continue to "chat" if you're not in her budget range???? It's not personal, it's based on an honest awareness of one's needs. Which includes not having an abundance of time to waste ;)
And while it can be disturbing to address the reality that women are far more vulnerable to sexual exploit, it is crucial to be aware that there are Jeffrey Dahmers and Robert Picktons in this world. Ladies, YOU need to keep yourself safe. Not paranoid, simply aware. That you are a delicate little flower and need be handled with care at all times. Gentlemen, YOU need to be aware that she needs to feels safe, cuz she's a delicate little flower that needs to be handled with care at all times who wants to blossom.
It's just real, not anything to get overwhelmed about. Misogyny is rampant in our society. Relationsugaring addresses that imbalance by adding the levener* that actually enables a "mutually beneficial arrangement". We're here because we are doing things differently. Or maybe you're lost on the Internet ;P
*levener is a cooking term (but this is chemistry, too so it's apt ;) : substances used in doughs and batters that cause a foaming action which lightens and softens the finished product
Monday, 24 October 2011
This Is Not A Simulation
This, friends and well-wishers, is a real conversation I had with a man whom I believe honestly believes he is sugar material. I'll openly acknowledge that it was probably a lil bit mean to toy with him and play on words with an individual who sincerely just isn't "gettin' it". But if you have any sense of humour at all, you will easily see how I couldn't resist the lil bit of good natured fun that it was. I can't blame TV but maybe if it was more entertaining I wouldn't be so easily amused by hilarious word exchanges with randoms from the internet.
The "here sugar, sugar" advertisement he responded to asked for these specifics: male 30-50, a photo and budget/expectations.
I tried to keep it simple. General literacy and manners can be determined from the response itself, I felt listing those prerequisites would only add confusion. I'll post the ad, too, if you're interested in further applied psychology behind presentation in the sugar arena. There will be a post befo' too long about photos. But for now, this is an actual conversation, presented as it happened, in response to that ad. I just mean, I could write shit this good, but I really couldn't write shit this good. Enjoy!
"Potential Suitor": Hey how it going. I am 20. I am willing to take u out for dinner and help u out when anyway u need. I not looking for a one night stand. I want an ongoing thing
The "here sugar, sugar" advertisement he responded to asked for these specifics: male 30-50, a photo and budget/expectations.
I tried to keep it simple. General literacy and manners can be determined from the response itself, I felt listing those prerequisites would only add confusion. I'll post the ad, too, if you're interested in further applied psychology behind presentation in the sugar arena. There will be a post befo' too long about photos. But for now, this is an actual conversation, presented as it happened, in response to that ad. I just mean, I could write shit this good, but I really couldn't write shit this good. Enjoy!
Moi: Fantastic, I definitely have an $8000 bill I need to cover! Lol, I don't mean to be rude but I'm not sure you fully understand my post on cl. Taking me out for dinner is a given, relationsugar or regular boyfriend ;) but I'm looking for a relationsugar specifically this time around ;)
AND you didn't include a photo...
"PS": Hey. Sorry. I'd give u 300 towards it. [Includes photo w response]
Moi: For dinner? Done deal! When would you like to dine?
"PS": Dinner and 300. Or just dinner. Do I get a pc
"PS": Dinner and 300. Or just dinner. Do I get a pc [yes, he sent it again]
"PS": When u free
Moi: Lol, both... And I'll explain what a relationsugar is to you for free ;) I have time tomorrow, maybe early Friday evening depending on work.
"PS": Sounds good. As long as we get to havge fun after
Moi: ... Lol, lol... As I said initially, it's apparent you didn't fully understand my post ;) good luck w the reading comprehension and the dating game :)
"PS": O:(
"PS": I no what it is. It just last time I give a girl 400. I never got laid or anything out of it. That why I won't give large amounts out at once. Can u send a pc
"PS": I no what it is. It just last time I give a girl 400. I never got laid or anything out of it. That why I won't give large amounts out at once. Can u send a pc [yes, he sent it again]
AND you didn't include a photo...
"PS": Hey. Sorry. I'd give u 300 towards it. [Includes photo w response]
Moi: For dinner? Done deal! When would you like to dine?
"PS": Dinner and 300. Or just dinner. Do I get a pc
"PS": Dinner and 300. Or just dinner. Do I get a pc [yes, he sent it again]
"PS": When u free
Moi: Lol, both... And I'll explain what a relationsugar is to you for free ;) I have time tomorrow, maybe early Friday evening depending on work.
"PS": Sounds good. As long as we get to havge fun after
Moi: ... Lol, lol... As I said initially, it's apparent you didn't fully understand my post ;) good luck w the reading comprehension and the dating game :)
"PS": O:(
"PS": I no what it is. It just last time I give a girl 400. I never got laid or anything out of it. That why I won't give large amounts out at once. Can u send a pc
"PS": I no what it is. It just last time I give a girl 400. I never got laid or anything out of it. That why I won't give large amounts out at once. Can u send a pc [yes, he sent it again]
Moi: You're confusing prostitute with sugar baby. Check out my blog SOS www.schoolofsugar.blogspot.com I'll blog about this in more detail when I have time but time is money, so ya jus' goan hafta wait I s'pose!
K, I shan't talk again so soon about expecting sex, a la Pro Contract, when you offer to take a potential sugar babe out for dinner and offer some cash to acknowledge her time and get your foot in the door by letting her know you were serious. So, I'll talk about the fact that if you see $400 as a "large amount"... um, perhaps sugaring isn't for you and you'd be better off as a Thoughtful Lover who spoils his lady friend with a spa day every once in a while.
I will address the fact that I was a fun bitch about it, rather than just let it go. But I've been told I'm a bitch for walking away when I show up for a first meeting and the person at the table isn't the person from the picture exchange. Whether because they used a fake picture entirely or because it was ten years old. Lying is totally unnecessary in a relationsugar and I won't waste more time on someone who has already wasted my time not being honest. And with any contract, language use is of utmost importance. So, I was playin' on words, cuz it's fun.
And I will address the fact that we now we all have the opportunity to explore these themes together, too. Like the idea that if a woman asks for a few simple things to help screen out "potential" from "unqualified", she's committing preliminary testing for incongruencies and has asked for those details on purpose because...
*while men may generally receive very few responses from women on the internet, a woman generally doesn't even need to be hot in any traditional sense to get a barrage of attention from claimants. Time is money...
*in Sugar Land, everyone claims to be affluent. Time for money is the only way she can know you're for "real" real, not for "play" play.
*women really do need to exercise a lot more caution when meeting strangers. Especially when the pretenses are sexual.
Not only was this particular respondent waaaayyyyy out of the age range in the wrong direction, he neglected to define his budget/expectations, as well as include a photo. 0/3, that's actually 0/5, with manners and literacy all in... what's a girl to do with that?
And his claim was that he would "help out when anyway [I] need". So, I called him on that (not even sure how to interpret those word strings*), knowing that he wasn't even qualified to be on the internet, let alone responding to live humans via said media. Lol, perhaps that was a little harsh but with all due respect, B, my email status does say "Can't say I didn't warn ya!"
If you can't make good on some information, she won't be willing to believe you will make good on the rest. And you will be cut from tryouts. Doubly if you throw a hissy fit (whiny, abusive or otherwise) when presented with the fact that you've yet to reveal the information she's asked for, so she's not willing to believe you will come through on the rest. Actions speak louder than words but a clever sort can always filter the words for the forthcoming interactions she can expect.
K, I shan't talk again so soon about expecting sex, a la Pro Contract, when you offer to take a potential sugar babe out for dinner and offer some cash to acknowledge her time and get your foot in the door by letting her know you were serious. So, I'll talk about the fact that if you see $400 as a "large amount"... um, perhaps sugaring isn't for you and you'd be better off as a Thoughtful Lover who spoils his lady friend with a spa day every once in a while.
I will address the fact that I was a fun bitch about it, rather than just let it go. But I've been told I'm a bitch for walking away when I show up for a first meeting and the person at the table isn't the person from the picture exchange. Whether because they used a fake picture entirely or because it was ten years old. Lying is totally unnecessary in a relationsugar and I won't waste more time on someone who has already wasted my time not being honest. And with any contract, language use is of utmost importance. So, I was playin' on words, cuz it's fun.
And I will address the fact that we now we all have the opportunity to explore these themes together, too. Like the idea that if a woman asks for a few simple things to help screen out "potential" from "unqualified", she's committing preliminary testing for incongruencies and has asked for those details on purpose because...
*while men may generally receive very few responses from women on the internet, a woman generally doesn't even need to be hot in any traditional sense to get a barrage of attention from claimants. Time is money...
*in Sugar Land, everyone claims to be affluent. Time for money is the only way she can know you're for "real" real, not for "play" play.
*women really do need to exercise a lot more caution when meeting strangers. Especially when the pretenses are sexual.
Not only was this particular respondent waaaayyyyy out of the age range in the wrong direction, he neglected to define his budget/expectations, as well as include a photo. 0/3, that's actually 0/5, with manners and literacy all in... what's a girl to do with that?
And his claim was that he would "help out when anyway [I] need". So, I called him on that (not even sure how to interpret those word strings*), knowing that he wasn't even qualified to be on the internet, let alone responding to live humans via said media. Lol, perhaps that was a little harsh but with all due respect, B, my email status does say "Can't say I didn't warn ya!"
If you can't make good on some information, she won't be willing to believe you will make good on the rest. And you will be cut from tryouts. Doubly if you throw a hissy fit (whiny, abusive or otherwise) when presented with the fact that you've yet to reveal the information she's asked for, so she's not willing to believe you will come through on the rest. Actions speak louder than words but a clever sort can always filter the words for the forthcoming interactions she can expect.
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