Many of these posts will be from my perspective. The babe's. It doesn't matter if you're in a same sex relationship, just interchange, his for her's and/or she for he, where necessary.
We could sit and debate all day about the difference between keeping a mistress (sugar babe) and enlisting the services of a prostitute (or whatever the politically correct term is these days). But I can sum it up in a single word: commitment.
Ladies, beware any suitor who even alludes to a per visit "arrangement". He is looking for a prostitute, with the heart of gold of course. Whether he is able to admit it or not.You're not her, or you're in the wrong class. Sex trade worker school is one room over. The professor is great, you'll learn a lot! Now get out so we can get back to class.
So, from the suitor's perspective, especially if this is a first time experience, it can be intimidating and a little scary to throw a three or six or nine grand allowance at an almost stranger. But you don't want the same experiences you've had, so you can't keep doing the same things. If you want to bed this lady eventually, take the leap and make that commitment to her in dollars and sense. And see if she fulfills her end of the agreement of spending Wednesday afternoons with you, feeling into your heart because she is free to just be present and attentive, just for you. It's what you came to Sugar Land for.
I can hear you, "Wait- WTF is the agreement here? I throw out a wad of cash on a maybe?" I know. Sometimes it can be a bit much to live ahead by a century (of the rest) but here we are. And you can't look backward and forward at the same time. So, what'll it be?
Let me be glib. You can either go to the nursery and pay for a flower pot and some dirt and seeds and fertilizer and a watering can and grow yourself a pretty little flower. Or you can go to the nursery and pay for a plant that is already flowering. The sugar babe requires that cultivation time of the wining and dining to open up to you and grow into the intimacy you are building. The prostitute is ready to go if you pony up with the cash. It's intimate but only so far as randomly grinding sex organs with a stranger can ever be. And it has it's place, don't get me wrong, these are simply statements of fact without judgement. But the idea of relationsugars is to cultivate that intimacy rather than assume your throwing down her allowance grants you access to her sweet booty before she has a chance to get to know you and want to tear your clothes off to give back the great feelings you are inspiring in her.
If you fulfill your commitment to the $5000 dollar allowance and act like a gentleman, she'll be up all over your dick in no time. Simply a figure of speech but if you act trustable, she will feel comfortable and the intimacy you're looking for will happen. And it will be amazing or entirely disappointing when you get to the sex. That's the gamble in any relationship. If it's great, you're relieved and happy to post date a year's worth of cheques. If it's workable but not awful you still feel relieved and happy to write the cheques cuz you feel that once you get to know each other's bodies better the sex will definitely improve. And frankly, if it's awful between you, because she's a cold fish, or there just isn't any naked chemistry, or bad physics, or you're kinky and she's vanilla, or whatever other reason people use to decide not to share condoms again, you can simply say, "Thanks for the great times we shared but we aren't compatible lovers so this isn't going to work out... Did you say you had a friend looking for a sugar daddy? Is it too soon to ask for her number?" Never say this while you're still in bed.
We're here to be and bring out the best. There is a nice way to reject someone, and a shithead version. Let's all practice being sugary sweet to each other regardless of the outcome. If we lead by example maybe some of the rest will catch up to where we are and we'll have inadvertently helped to co-design a society where you could actually say to your wife "Honey, I'm going golfing with the boys this afternoon, and then I was really hoping to catch a few hours with the sugar babe. Do you mind if I'm not around for dinner?" And she can respond, "All good, I just got a text from my lesbian lover wondering if I am available to drop everything and go have a fantastic weekend in Paris. Are you cool with eating out this weekend? Lol, you'll be eating out this weekend all right. Have a great game, hon. I'll see you in a few days."
Wiiinnnngggggnut!
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